"I don't like you anymore!"
OUCH - Hard words to hear from my three-year-old son, Ethan. I knew it would inevitably happen at some point...but as he told me this for the first time earlier tonight after receiving a spanking for disobeying Mommy, I was crushed. Was this the same boy who, that very same day, brought me flower after flower to tell me he loved me and to make me feel special ("feshal" as he says it)??? The same boy who gives me triple kisses every day and night because he's "so glad God gave me to him and Evie as his mommy"???
Trying not to let the shock show on my face, I replied softly, "Ethan, I'm sorry you feel that way right now, but no matter what you say or do, I will always love you very much." And I walked across the room to sit down (and feel sad that this day had arrived so soon!)
He repeated himself several times, in between his tears, and then looking up, he noticed that I had walked away. He asked me, "Mommy, why are you going over there?" I had to tell him that his words hurt Mommy, because they are not kind words you say to someone you love. And I had left so I wouldn't hear those words anymore.
Sensing he was ready to resolve our conflict, I asked why he had said he didn't like me, and he told me that he didn't like spankings and I had hurt his feelings by spanking him. "Spankins make me sad," he said.
"It makes me sad to have to spank you, too, Buddy," I responded. As usual, I followed up with the reasoning that his spanking was his choice, and by disobeying Mommy, he was choosing to have a spanking (as the known punishment for disobedience in our house).
With that, the exchange was over. I was loved, and liked, again.
Looking back at the evening, I realized that even in his sadness, he needed to know that I was nearby. He needed that reassurance that what I said was true - I would always love him no matter what. Feeling hurt and vulnerable, he lashed out with words that hit me in the chest - straight to the heart. But even when he "didn't like me anymore," he still needed to know that I was there and listening, and that neither distance nor punishment could separate him from my love.
Going Deeper...
It seems to me that a mother's love is a reflection of God's love, as it is written in Romans 8:35-39.
"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?...I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Just like a child, we too need to know that God is there and listening, and that He will always love us no matter what. The Word is clear about the Father's love, so if you're feeling distant from God, check it out and find resolution and reassurance.
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)