Wow! Is It That Late Already?

I seem to get sucked into projects far too easily...Tonight it was organizing meeting notes for Camp Wabashi, but it very well could have been Sonshine School director's duties, or Bible class prep work - I stay up afterhours for them all...

What can I say? I'm in the zone, and all else (including sleep) falls to the wayside. Yes, sleep (as this crazy late hour suggests), play, human interaction, and of course housework. It's like I just forget them all. For the record, housework seems to be at the top of my list for things I'm willing to neglect for the sake of a new project. But neglecting sleep, it's just because night is the only quiet time in this house - I actually enjoy sleep. However, I think I thrive on "project adrenaline." I just keep going. I even feel a little depressed, no that's not the word, disconnected maybe, or just unsuccessful perhaps, when I don't have another project to tackle.

While I love being a stay-at-home mom, I miss that connection to the outside adult world - I miss being patted on the back for a job well done, or being challenged by a new situation, or developing a different side of me. And the projects, unending and somewhat disruptive to the life that my husband would like to live, well, the projects fill in the gaps and provide that connection that I sometimes feel is missing from my child-oriented lifestyle.

I feel a little silly admitting these feelings, because I know I am very blessed to be able to stay home with my babies - and I wouldn't want it any other way.

While I may not get a pat on the back, I will most definitely get a slobbery kiss everyday for a mommy moment well done. And I am certainly challenged each day...in patience and kindness, and in on-the-spot parenting situations, like what is that brown lump on the bathroom floor? (Ha ha ha, I'm potty-training my son, can you tell?) I guess I'm even developing a different side of me - the nurturing side and maybe the cleaning side a little (I didn't know that side of me existed!) If I think about it, I do have adult connection each week too, with morning playdays and evening outings for exercise or pampering or time with girlfriends. Sometimes I just need a reminder, a reality check. I am blessed and my reality is pretty good. Yes, upon reflection, there's nothing missing...well, except sleep!

Naptime

Shhh...

One in my arms cuddled up under a blanket, such a sweet expression on her tiny face. The other, a big boy in his own chair, slowly nodding until his heavy eyes gave up. 15 minutes of Barney & Friends did the trick. Even I caught a few winks - unintentional, but nice just the same. What mom couldn't use a little nap now and again? (Okay, every day, sometimes twice a day. I'll take what I can get.)

Anyway, now it's naptime, or as I like to think of it, me-time. Sometimes, me-time means dishes or laundry, a quick read or TV show, or - Hallelujah! - a shower all by myself. For today's me-time, I chose to just watch and listen to the peace in the house. The living room's actually clean. Ahhh. I have the two most precious gifts right here beside me, content and warm and loved. Ahhh. It feels really good.

Especially compared to the craziness outside the house today, with such a momentous decision before our country as it is Election Day.

But inside the house, it feels like peace.

Oh wait, I hear the call. Naptime's over a little too soon. "Mommy?" Such a soft little voice. He's up and out of the chair now. Walking to me with diaper sagging and arms held up high.

"Did you have a good rest?" I whisper in his ear like always.

Blue eyes sparkle as he replies, "Uh-huh." I get a hug, a kiss and a grin.

The Beginning

There's something quite exciting - almost magical - about sitting here with the blank page, ready to begin this expression of my life.

In journaling here, I hope to open a window from my world to the space beyond and share the moments and thoughts that are both inspired and inspiring. From this window, I also hope to feel the fresh breeze brought by moments like mine, happening out there somewhere in the sunshine or in the storm.

Moments with which I can relate and connect.

Moments that bring emotion, that energize and encourage.

Moments that must be captured, touched, and clung to...forever or only for awhile.

Through these moments, I hope to learn and grow, to challenge and be challenged, to feel and share and liberate and savor and understand what it is to really live. To live inspired.

Welcome to my window.